EUPHIE #3: GHETTO MAC

GHETTO MAC [Nutrition Essentials]

Definition:  proper noun.  Any box of packaged mac & cheese that is purchasable from your local ghetto deli.  Many varieties are available with inconsistent stock from bodega to bodega.  Premium brands include Velveeta (actual cheese bags with shells) and Kraft (avoid the EasyMac variety).  Recommended for an extra boost in flavor, after cooking the mac&cheese, crush in some ghetto ninety-nine cents pork grinds. 


Usage:  A common American staple food gains a universal distinction of ghetto yet it's value is insurmountable.  Ninety percent of the the time it is proceeded by the word "dat" (see Example A.).

Example A.  (Personal Quote)
"Let me in kind Mr. Bodega Man, sir.  Don't be like that, you know I don't want to steal from you.  I just wanna buy me some of dat ghetto mac."

Example B.  (In Conversation)

ROOMMATE:  Why is the sink yellow?
ENRICO:  Maybe it's some moldy shit
ROOMMATE:  It looks like pasta.  And it's like neon yellow.
ENRICO: Oopsies, it's probably my ghetto mac.
ROOMMATE:  Is that all you've eaten?
ENRICO: Sorry 'bout it. 


Example C.  (Logic)

Dat Ghetto Mac is better than your Fancy Shit.
Dat Ghettho Mac is NOT better than a Cheesey Gordita.
Therefore, a Cheesey Gordita is better than your Fancy Shit.  

FELLOW GHETTO MAC LOVERS!!!!

 They Be Hilarious.

 They Be Quirky.

They Be Hella Jealous.

 BONUS Interview
KELVIN:  Let me get this straight.  All you have eaten in the last three days-
ENRICO:  Just dat leftover Ghetto Mac!
KELVIN:  Gross.
ENRICO: Don't be all, "gross".  I know you've been sneaking bites.  
KELVIN:  Guilty.
ENRICO:  Glass Houses.